Wanting to show off my spoils to my siblings and parents, I promptly paraded around the living room in my new shoes once we arrived home. To my absolute horror, I discovered I had bout TWO PAIRS of the exact.same.clogs. Oh My. My face turned red as my older and younger sister both laughed, grinding my nose in my humiliating oversight. (In my defense, the clogs were bought on separate trips to Payless.) The worst part though was that the sizes of the two pairs were different - one pair being a 9, and the other 11. Yep, 11. I was firmly entrenched in my obsession of being tall and growing up (remember how I also bought heels?) and sometime between my first trip to Payless and the second, I decided to upgrade myself to a larger shoe sizes to allow for all my planned growth. It made sense in my 11 year old brain.
There I was, red in the face, two pairs of brown fake leather clogs, and both pairs sporting wildly different shoe sizes. AND I was out $20 on that pair of size 9's I was never going to wear! My best friends Mom swooped in and bought my size 9's (she wore a size 7 I later found out, but was there for my fashion show and took pity on me) and I clod-hopped around middle school for a full year in over sized clogs before realizing the blisters on my size 9 feet were not worth it.
Fast forward to when I was sixteen. Playing volleyball day in and day out, practically living in spandex shorts, I insisting on wearing Small sized t-shirts. I definitely would have rocked a Medium with more style and flair (and less mid-driff exposure on my 5'10" frame) but insisted on the Small because only fat people wore Medium. Yep, that's what I thought. I was literally obsessed with being as thin as possible, while playing competitive sports year round, and yet couldn't see the strong athlete in front of me. My day was made, or fell apart, based on two things: How my size Small shirt was fitting that day (clinging?bunching?stomach showing?) and whether I was able to pinch anything on my hip. Anything to pinch was reason enough, in my mind, to stay home. I was a mess - and it all came down to numbers.
Jump on over to being pregnant with Darius. Darius was my first pregnancy that stuck around long enough to let me meet my little one (and I'm one lucky Mama to have Darius with me five years later!) Through my pregnancy I revised how I was eating, exercising, and thinking about my body. My body was capable of so much more than I had previously given it credit for! And then labor opened my eyes even more! If you want to learn how strong you really are, and truly gain great strength from within you, go for a natural, drug free labor. Wow - I mean honestly. After delivering Darius without any pain med, seeing my body not only grow a human being, but deliver a human being (mind blowing!) I gained respect for my body and started treating it even better, and researching ways in which to improve my health. The scale continued to drop, lower and lower and lower after having Darius, but for the first time in my life I wasn't focused on the scale or what I was wearing. I was focused on nourishing my body so it would have what it needed to nourish Darius's.
With each subsequent pregnancy my knowledge has grown, as I continue to research on an almost daily basis. Approaching my body from a health and wellness point of view, I now use the numbers on the scale as a gauge. I know that if the scale jumps suddenly that something is out of balance, and simply readjust my diet until I find the culprit (recently being wheat) and restore balance.
The numbers on the scale, stitched into your pants, or embossed in your shoes do not matter. What matters is finding balance, peace and harmony in your body. Loving your body for what it can do, for it's raw power, and for the possibilities it opens up for you is far more important than the size of your shirt (although, for the record, I have embraced Medium, and it feels MUCH more comfortable than Small ever did. And it's long enough!) Embrace the opportunities that are your's for the taking!
And while you're at it, do some good for those whom aren't able to harness the power within themselves due to physical and mental disabilities; help find a cure for Rett Syndrome. To sign up for an awesome 5km run/walk/whatever you want to do to cover the distance, race CLICK HERE. But hurry! Registration closes October 3rd, 2013.