I'm still here!

It's been a while. A long two months break if we're being specific, and it's been a crazy busy two months at that! So much has happened that has pushed my blogging to the back burner, from a natural disaster to rival hurricane Katrina in my city, to my hubby being on the front lines of safety during and after said disaster (which rendered me a single parent for a month or so) to many mini vacations since. Throw in soaking up all the summer we can while it lasts and you'll get the idea. It's been busy.
Many times over the past while I've written down topics I wanted to tackle in a post, and so now I have a long list of topics that may or may not be addressed based on their relevance moving forward; but we gotta pick up somewhere so here we go!

There is something different about having a daughter. When both of my sons were born, life stood still as I breathed in their very existence. My eyes glistened often with tears of gratitude and joy as I would snuggle them close to my chest and let their sweet baby scent envelope me. I do the same with my daughter, and my heart tugs at the thought of all the roads I have traveled that she will too in the not too distant future. Each time she connects her big blue eyes to mine, smiling her big toothless grin, I pause and soak in the trust and love that she has for me. Right now I am her everything, and I am absolutely loving it. 

The need to be a stronger role model for my children is very much at the for front of my mind. To walk the road that I tell them they must tread. Living a kind, healthy and generous life has a whole new meaning when I have a princess following my wake, along with my two little princes. Here is my wish for my sweet little Audrey as she sleeps soundly in the room next to me:

I wish that you will see the world full of possibility and light; full of goodness to be gleamed and given, and love to be shared. I wish that you will see the rising of the sun each day as the dawning of possibility, and take a moment at each sunset to focus on all the blessings and gratitude in your life. I wish that you will stand on the strength within you, and look to the Lord for solace and know that you are amazing. I wish that you will know through the look in my eyes that I adore you and know you are the most amazing girl in the world. I wish that you will feel the power God has blessed you with as you run, climb, and conquer each challenge you face; that you will see every mountain as a journey to be enjoyed. I wish that you will see me as a sounding board for ideas, a companion through thick and thin, and a mother whom you wouldn't trade for anything in the world. I wish you a thousand smiles and more, because you are my princess whom I adore.

Life became a little more rosy and pink three months ago - and to say I am loving every minute would be an understatement. 

Newborn Photography

Some moments need never be forgotten. Those first few days after Audrey joined our family were sweet, peaceful, and full of snuggles and love. Every time I look at these pictures I am reminded to slow down, pick up my babes and give them the love they crave and deserve. My family, my children, are my focus right now - and will be for quite some time to come. Being a mother is not a sometimes deal; from the moment you know your baby will soon be in your arms, your responsibilities increase, and your desire to be better is cemented. I strive everyday to become more, to learn and grow emotionally, physically, spiritually so that I can imbue that wisdom on the sweet souls in my care. 
Thank you to Elizabeth Cranmer of Lizzy Anne Photography for capturing this special time for us. I love all the images - so much so that narrowing it down to the above photos was no easy task.

Mind and Body: One Month

I can't believe Audrey is a month old today! It's been a whirlwind of a month, yet at the same time it feels like she's been in the mix forever - confusing I know. Here's the next installment of our little progress reports [if you missed the first installent, Mind and Body One Week After Baby, check it out here, and if you missed Audrey's Birth Story it can be found here.] 

This how we spent Audrey's one month 'birthday'

Audrey's favorite activity at the park

Audrey and I ready to go shopping

Audrey:

Audrey is an eating machine! She loves to nurse, and does so frequently - day or night. We're working on getting the night time routine sorted out, and so far she'll sleep about four hours her first stretch, then it becomes a feeding frenzy. Last night for example, Audrey awoke at 2:15am, and nursed off and on until 4:45am...where upon Eli woke up and was miserable for a while before heading back to bed. Eli then can crashing into bed with me at 6, and Audrey woke up at 6:15 to eat again...night time is not my favorite time right now haha.
Audrey is very alert, looks around and makes eye contact easily. She tracks my voice and movements, and smiles at me as we talk. While she doesn't enjoy bath time or diaper changes, Audrey LOVES to be snuggled and so I enjoy baby snuggles as often as I can get them! Having two busy boys underfoot means that this sweet baby is also very patient, and often takes a break from nursing when Eli is needing help RIGHT NOW, as she is currently the more patient of the two of them. Audrey is a very calm and even tempered little angel, and I simply adore her!
This first month has brought a world of new experiences  and 'firsts' for Audrey, including 'first cold'. Being the lucky little sister of two doting older brothers, Audrey is in contact with germs on a daily basis. Darius and Eli have both had colds, the 24 flu, and random coughs in the past month, so Audrey has fared pretty well with only contracting congestion. Shes doing a really good job at clearing the mucous herself, and it hasn't held her back much at all. Night times are a bit rougher with her congestion as she needs to be propped a certain way to be able to breath...which means I usually end up with her in bed with me, with her propped against my body, and me stiff as a board by morning. Despite being a little under the weather,Audrey weights in at 10lbs 12oz which is a nice little gain over her 7lbs 1oz birth weight. 


Me:

My body continues to heal and return to its active self. I ran my first 5 km this past week, have been hefting weights, and continue to do stretching and yoga. The standard advice is to not to return to full activity until after six weeks postpartum, however I needed to have the mental lift that being active gives me. I listen to my body and only push as far as my body is able to comfortably. Returning to exercise has been a fabulous help for me to push through the day after my extremely short nights. 
My Mom was here for the first two weeks after Audrey arrived, which allowed me to sleep, eat, and snuggle Audrey all day long. It was heaven! After she left, getting back into the swing of maintaining a household, running after two busy boys, and caring for a newborn has been a challenge for me. Some days I end the day with a smile on my face, feeling like a million dollars! Other days I cry myself to sleep because I am overwhelmed and exhausted. It's been a bit of a roller coaster of emotions but my Handsome Hubby has been a great strength and help to me along the way. If he weren't such a hands on Dad things would be down right crazy around here haha! The reason blog posts have been rather sporadic/non-existent as of late, is simply because when I have a moment to sit down I fall asleep - which is probably the best use of my time right now haha!
I have been dealing with major 'mommy guilt' over the past month in connection to Darius and Elias. They've lost a lot of the one on one time that we enjoyed prior to Audrey's arrival. Darius has expressed his feeling about this, and is obviously working through our new normal. Eli is having a bit of a tougher time, and has taken to waking up extra early as a result. 
I also feel guilty for how much has slipped through my fingers in the past month as far as maintaining our home and feeding my family. I prepared really well, or so I thought, but it still is hard to get healthy meals on the table when my kiddos are hungry. We've eaten out more than I care to admit, and there have been more treats than is healthy for anyone - let alone kids that aren't used to having treats so often. All of our belly's are suffering from sugar overload, and it definitely contributes to the lower mental state I've been exhibiting.
Heading out of the house on my own with three kids is such a daunting thought that it actually hasn't happened yet, other than going to the beach. Darius is really great at listening, and Audrey is pretty low maintenance, but Eli is a busy body with limited communication abilities and a stubborn streak a mile long. I had Eli and Audrey with me in a store on Saturday, and I ended up with Eli in the baby stroller, Audrey in my arms, and leaving the store as quickly as my one arm could maneuver the stroller through the isles. It's a whole new workout haha! 
All in all, I wouldn't give up this challenge for anything in the world - it's been a fabulously overwhelming [and wonderful] month.